My Free Upcoming Novelette: Progress Report

Assalamualaikum and greetings dear Bits and Pieces readers,

It has been quite a while since I update about my free upcoming novelette, Letters to God. I believe I owe my readers an apology too for not publishing it soon enough. Time is flying and I have to focus more on my PhD studies for the time being. I was an expert at juggling various tasks once but not anymore; at least not in these few months.

Photo credit: SerenaWong

But tonight, I feel compelled to write. I really want to share the current status of this novelette of mine.


Novelette edited but not yet send to beta reader
The editor is a good friend of mine and we lost contact for awhile. Thankfully, I managed to track her down and she finished the work. But the novelette transcript is raw; full of corrections that I haven't been able to address yet. This has caused a major delay for the next stage i.e. sending it to a beta reader to read. But I don't think it will be a long process because my cousin has already agreed to be the beta reader. For your information, the task of a beta reader(s) is to identify whether the story line ties in smoothly. Readers definitely hate haphazard stories.  

Method to attach novelette in subscription email
As is my intention, I would like Letters to God be attach to the confirmation email when a person subscribes to my blog. But as of today, I haven't yet find an application (am I using the right term?) that offers this service. I would appreciate it so much if you can comment some suggestions for me. It will make my task easier :) I thank you in advance!

Don't worry, the novelette is definitely free
There are two reasons for this: (1) recognition and, (2) marketing.

I want people to be able to read my writing and judge whether it is good or bad. If it is bad, at least people won't feel disheartened because they got the novelette for free. Hopefully too, readers will be more willing to give feed backs so that I can improve my writing. I aspire to be a writer of substance where my words can reach the heart of readers and hopefully change their lives for the better.

By making the Letters to God free, I can also gain more followers. When I have followers, there is a high possibility that they will buy the books I sell in the future. You see, I have a dream of retiring early and make an income from being a fiction writer whose words touch lives.

   

Beautiful Lessons from Beautiful People

Assalamualaikum and greetings dear Bits and Pieces readers,

These past few months had been exceptionally challenging for me. Everything seems to be going downhill and my patience and acceptance of God's will have been tested greatly.

 
A hadith (traditions of Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him) that offers much motivation crossed my mind but it was difficult for me to digest its wisdom. This is the hadith:
 

Abu Hurairah narrated that the Messenger of Allah said:

“Look at those who are lower than you (financially) but do not look at those who are higher than you, lest you belittle the favors Allah conferred upon you.” Agreed upon. Source

So ALLAH had helped me grasp this wisdom, and more, through one beautiful and strong woman.

Picture courtesy of pixabay hence not the woman I'm writing about

It was the kind of day where interaction with humans were stressful for me but my phone still made noise. I ignored it. But the same noise came from it; again and again. Reluctantly, I checked my phone and saw several messages from a close friend of mine. She needed to borrow some money so that she and her kids can eat. They hadn't paid their car loans and rents for months as her husband's business is suffering. She was also embroiled in other conflicts that I pray I won't ever have to go through in my existence.

I can't help but feel like a weak idiot; here I am feeling sorry for myself when others, closed others, are facing much bigger and more real problems.

But here comes the dilemma; I am saving for a rainy day. In case I can't finish my PhD studies on time, I can use my own money because my scholarship only cover three years. However, this hadith had resolved my dilemma:

Abu Hurairah narrated that the Messenger of Allah said:
"Whoever relieves a Muslim of a burden from the burdens of the world, Allah will relieve him of a burden from the burdens on the Day of Judgement. And whoever helps ease a difficulty in the world, Allah will grant him ease from a difficulty in the world and in the Hereafter. And whoever covers (the faults of) a Muslim, Allah will cover (his faults) for him in the world and the Hereafter. And Allah is engaged in helping the worshiper as long as the worshiper is engaged in helping his brother." Source

In other words, if I want to be helped, I need to help others. Who knows, this might just be the sacrifice that I need to do in order for me to finish my PhD on time; or obtain more financially. Hence in the name of ALLAH, and my love for her, I gave her extra than what she initially asked to borrow.

It is my sincere hope that we can help ourselves by being grateful, and simultaneously help others in need. If this woman and the above hadiths do not motivate you enough, then perhaps this quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson might just be right for you:

“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.” 

How to Reduce Conflict in Relationship

Assalamualaikum and greetings dear Bits and Pieces readers,

No matter how loving and caring a relationship is, conflict is omnipresent. Friction occur between husband and wife, friends fight, and children refuse to be in contact with parents. Of course, there are also many other relationship examples.

However, don't give up on relationships just because of conflicts. Albeit there are circumstances that can't be fixed, there is always the possibility to minimize if not resolve them.


1. Be patient
The first thing that we feel before a conflict starts is dissatisfaction which is closely followed by anger. Instead of letting these feelings escape from our mouth or God forbid through violence, try and control ourselves. Take a deep breath; do whatever you can do to calm yourself. As Muslims, we should say "a'uzu billahi minash shaitonir rojim" (I seek refuge in ALLAH from satan) because anger can lead us to doing evil deeds. It is also helpful to remember this, whether you be Muslims or not:

"The strong man is not one who is good at wrestling, but the strong man is one who controls himself in a fit of rage." (Prophet Muhammad)

2. Be understanding
Try and imagine being in the other person's shoes. Our husband might be stressful from his underpaid job, our friend might be having a family problem that they don't want us to worry about, and our parents were just trying to advice us for the better. This act of empathy can definitely reduce the anger and dissatisfaction that we feel inside.

3. Be thankful
Recall how our husband would soothe us whenever we're in pain, remember how our friend helped us whenever we are in trouble, and remind ourselves the sacrifices made by our parents. This act of reminiscing should be able to subside the remaining anger inside us. A Malay proverb comes to mind:

"Hancur badan dikandung tanah, budi baik terkenang juga" which in simple English means good deeds are remembered forever even though the person who committed that act of good deeds had passed away.

4. Take a timeout
Should number 1, 2, and 3 didn't work, pull yourself away from that person. Give ourselves time by taking a walk alone or jog or whatever it is that can calm us. Bear in mind that giving ourselves time is never the same as running away from problems. So when I say "whatever it is that can calm us", I don't mean drugs, alcohol, violence, and the likes.

By giving ourselves time, we are escaping from negative energy so that positive energy can come in. This allows us to become patient as well as to try and understand where the other person is coming from.

5. Communicate effectively
Unfortunately, being patient, understanding, and thankful cannot solve conflicts. Same goes to pulling away from conflicts. Although there are special cases of conflicts that is better for us to settle with the strategies mentioned, most conflicts should be discussed with the person we are in conflict with.

This discussion however doesn't necessarily need to be done right after the conflict. Create the right mood to talk. Choose an appropriate time where both have cooled down and can think rationally. I firmly believe that relationships can flourish when both sides are able to communicate the right way.    

6. Be forgiving
It is an undeniable fact that some conflicts come to fruition because of past misunderstandings. Even though we had already discussed it with our significant other before, we still can't let go, we still can't seem to forgive. I admit, to forgive someone is hard; but the reality is, not forgiving only interferes with our happiness.
Let's view forgiving as an important decision. If we forgive, we get to be happy; if we do not forgive, we will suffer.


Whoever and wherever you are at, I sincerely hope that you will be able to minimize conflicts. I pray that we all can have healthy relationships :)