The Death Instinct by Jed Rubenfeld

Assalamualaikum and greetings dear Bits and Pieces readers,

Death is only the beginning; afterward comes the hard part.

Immediately I was sucked into the story and found myself at Wall Street in year 1920. I could almost hear the bomb exploded and swore my ears were ringing among the civilians. When the story reminisced on World War 1, it is as though I was transported to the war zone itself. When the author introduced me to Sigmund Freud, Marie Curie, and Thomas Lamont, I was intrigued. As the story evolved towards the United States Treasury, a building on Wall Street, I got a sense of how monetary based on gold had worked before the Bretton Woods system collapsed.

Indeed, for the first time in weeks my mind was able to wander and forget the mirage we call reality. 

Unlike any other historical fiction I'd read, this book seeped right into my soul. The choice of words that the author used and the scene he depicted, revived something in me that I thought had long abated. That something is the thirst to write placidly, without chains.

As the book has given back a piece of me, I in return, give this book 5+ stars.

I just hope that I won't lose this piece of me again.

Japan: A Land Steep with Reminders - Part II

Assalamualaikum and greetings dear Bits and Pieces readers,

It is a joy of its own to recount back the days I had in Japan. I love being able to write during the shinkansen (bullet train) and train rides in between gazing through the window. Hence this post is a continuation of Japan: A Land Steep with Reminders - Part I which has long overdue. I really need to stop promising you readers regarding the date of my next post. I am absolutely ashamed of myself.

Day 4 - The Illusion of Death
We were at the grounds of the Kyoto Imperial Palace, sparring some time for rest and prayers. There were a number of crows which reminded us of Uchiha Itachi. We wondered why the crows are there. It's not like the place was dirty. Given that Uchiha Itachi liked to disguise himself as a crow, I bet that crows are closely related to Japanese culture.

My brother praying at the grounds of the Kyoto Imperial Palace. That white plastic bag is not litter but his.

After praying, we took a stroll on the grounds and came upon a tree on top of which the Sakura flower was blooming in magnificent pink. From what we gathered from our stroll, this is one of the few Sakura blooms on the castle grounds. The rest were still dead or appear dead. Kindly note that we went to Japan during early spring.

Sakura blooming on the castle grounds

The Sakura flowers that appear dead, or basically any forms of fauna, are similar to us humans and our lives. With our limited knowledge and foresight, we reached to a conclusion that certain people and situation will forever remain gloom; that their hearts are dead and there is not even a glimmer of hope. We simply couldn't see that a drug addict could be clean one day, that a dyslexia child will fulfill his or her dreams, or that a country will eventually see peace. Even worse, we might view ourselves as a hopeless case.

But we always take for granted the fact that the appearance of Sakura obeys the seasons in accordance to ALLAH's will. The same goes with humans and situations that we view as dark and hopeless; they will change according to ALLAH's will. We always assume that the key reason for people to change is advice from us. Wrong! The key reason is because ALLAH wills it. Our efforts and that person's (the one who should change) effort are secondary reasons.

Surah Al-Anfal [8] verse 24

In the case of hopelessness within ourselves, we should always be reminded how the flower although dead in winter, was able to reborn during spring. People all over the world would flood to Japan just to admire the beauty of Sakura when it blooms. Japanese even hold picnics to admire them. These teach us that mistakes we made and the hardships we go through make us a better and mature person; a more beautiful person up to the point where we will touch people's lives. Thus we should make tawbah (repentance) every time we commit sin and shake of the slithering whispers that say we couldn't be better. On top of that, we should also hold on, be patient, and persevere when the world seems dark.

Surah Ash-Sharh [94] verses 5 - 6

Surah Al-Baqarah [2] verse 257

Day 5 - Tawakkul (trust in ALLAH's plan) and the Fleeting Life
We were at the brink of panic. We need to reach the airport by 9.30am but according to Google Maps, the earliest JR Haruko shinkasen is at 8.48am. That is too late for us! Ditching Google Maps, I remembered that I read earlier before our Japan trip that we can also catch a JR Haruko train at Kyoto Station. Being a central hub and the fact that Japanese take their public transport and time seriously, there must be one train that should give us enough time to reach the airport by 9.30am. I trusted my intention (which was inspired by ALLAH) and put my complete trust in ALLAH. It turns out that I was correct.

In the shinkansen, I didn't write much. Instead, I soaked in the views, cherishing the last moments of my stay in Japan. 5 days went by so fast. But we knew that we had made the most out of the five days. It makes one wonder whether one have made the most of one's time here in this world? Did I actually do something with my life? Will my Maker be happy with me when my time is up?

Surah Al-Mu'minun [23] verse 115

Japan: A Land Steep with Reminders - Part I

Assalamualaikum and greetings dear Bits and Pieces readers,

I went to Japan on March 10th to March 14th. For years I've been longing to travel to Japan so it was a do'a (prayer) came true. My brother and I visited Kobe, Tokyo, Hikone, Konan, and Kyoto in those five days.

However, I'm not narrating my journey in this post, at least not a physical one. This blog as you know, is not travel themed. But it was built to inspire others through my writing, and to that I stay true. This post is filled with advises and reminders. 
    

Day 1 - The Art of Alhamdulillah, Striving, and Patience
I was blown away on day 1, I couldn't quite believed that I'm in Japan! After acquiring our Japan Railway Pass at the airport, we find our way to Kobe Mosque, the oldest and most historic mosque in Japan. It had survived two major catastrophes; the World War II bombing and the 1995 earthquake, reportedly to be one of the worst earthquake in Japan.

Me in front of Kobe Mosque

I stepped out of Motomachi station confidently. With the pocket wifi, power bank, and my phone's GPS, we were confident that we won't get lost. It's only a 10 minute walk from Motomachi Station. What can possibly go wrong?

Well the GPS on my phone went wrong. It couldn't lock our location so it couldn't guide us to Kobe Mosque. We tried to find any nearby streets or buildings that were near to us and erected along the route to Kobe Mosque but to no avail. We then switched to my brother's brand new iPhone but he wasn't able to find the GPS function! It was really frustrating that our journey began in such a state of well, frustration!

We wandered aimlessly for half an hour. Our stomachs began to rumble and the cold was barely bearable. We haven't had lunch. We had planned to eat at Naan Inn before praying, a halal Indian restaurant just few steps away from the mosque. All in all we were stymied. I remembered that my head had played The Shallows, a movie full of frustration and suspense throughout where Blake Lively tries to reach for the beach just 183 meters away with a giant white shark in between.  

Despite all that, we had to remain calm and composed. I reminded myself of how much I wanted to be here. It's literally a dream come true to travel to Japan. So I kept thanking and praising ALLAH (the attitude of alhamdulillah) for giving me the chance to come here. Finally, after 45 minutes, my brother noticed a place that is near to Kobe Mosque. So we took the street and lo and behold, Naan Inn was at the right of us. Without further ado, we went inside and ate.

The interior of Kobe Mosque. Quite similar to the mosques in Turkey
since Islam came to Japan through the Ottoman Empire

After eating and praying, we walked back to Motomachi Station and head to Tokyo. In the shinkansen (Japan's bullet train), I wrote down my thoughts of this day. I had been reminded that despite any impediments in life, we must always be thankful to ALLAH, and remain patient and positive. This is because ALLAH will never let our effort go to waste. If not here, we will surely gain something in the akhirah (afterlife).   

Surah Hud (chapter 11) verse 115

Day 2 - The Mirage of Absolute Power
Although I live in one, I never quite like a bustling city life. Thus in my notebook, I didn't write down anything at the end of my day in Tokyo. I feel like there's nothing to write. There's only the typical stuff like eating and shopping. But as I walk down my memory lane of Tokyo, one stuck out: the Meiji shrine.

At the Meiji Shrine

  
The Meiji shrine was significant to me for one reason, the anime Samurai X. Any anime fans, excluding the hentai (basically porn) genre, would agree that Samurai X is one of a kind, definitely on par with Naruto. These two animes had long ignited the interest in Japanese culture and history within me. Samurai X tells the story of an assassin, Himura Kenshin, who had brought the Meiji era and ended the shogunate ruling system. After that, he abandoned his sword in exchange for a sakabato (a blunt sword), a symbol of his resolution to stop killing.

The shogunate ruling system was in place for more than six centuries before its downfall. For a ruling system that can last this long, no one could predict its demise. This piece of history reminds me that absolute power is unreal; it only exist with ALLAH. Humans are only granted limited power for a certain period. Hence we should not fear any corrupted person, whether (s)he is a leader, a bully, a criminal, a hypocrite, and similar others.

Surah Ar-Rum (chapter 30) verse 8

Day 3 - Diam - Diam Ubi Berisi
Diam-diam ubi berisi is a Malay proverb. It mostly refers to a quiet person or thing that hold something of substance inside. This proverb describes the village of Konan in Koka City beautifully. The streets were deserted and only a few people crossed our path. Although the village is a spitting image of a ghost town, in it lies a unique gem.

The street in Konan

  
Konan possesses the only remaining authentic ninja house in all of Japan, the Koka Ninja House. Once belonged to the Head of Koka ninja clan, the place was full of ninja traps, weapons, and scrolls containing ninja techniques. We even pretended to be ninjas and threw shurikens.

Inside the Koka Ninja House. Be weary that the tour is in Japanese.

On this day, I was reminded to not look down upon others and assume that I'm better than anybody. That person might have a "treasure" that I do not have. That person might be more wise than I am. Thus I should be more humbled, positive, and open minded.

Surah Qalam (chapter 68) verse 7

To be continued...

Let's Talk About Porn

Assalamualaikum and greetings dear Bits and Pieces readers,

Of recent, my Facebook news feed was flooded with a rape case that had happened in Indonesia. I'm sorry that I couldn't find a link that's in proper English. One website (not in English) related this with a case that had happened around three decades ago; the rape, torture, and murder of Junko Furuta. I read this case haphazardly because her experience was too disturbing. Another story was shared by my friend. She shared the Facebook status of a sexual harassment victim. Harassed in multiple occasions, the victim was later diagnosed with depression and had even tried to take her own life aplenty of times.

Photo credit: Alexas_Fotos

I was deeply affected reading these stories, still am. Especially the rape cases. The pain, the helplessness, and the constant dread and fear inside...they must had felt these all at once. It must be excruciating. They must have prayed for death countless times. The public at large often question how can these men be so repugnant. But not me. Because I know the answer to that; the answer is porn.

Firstly, I'm sure there are other reasons behind these heinous crime. But porn has become a norm that men starts to think it's okay to watch because that's their natural inclination. I don't think many men realise the grave consequences of porn. More on this later. Secondly, nope. This post does not contain the cliche of "watching porn is a sin". It goes waaaaay beyond that.

A few months back, I found Fight the New Drug and learned a LOT from the website. I found out that porn is actually a dangerous addiction like heroin, alcohols, or cigarettes. It makes you feel happy only when you get the chance to watch one. Meaning that making love to your wife, playing basketball with your children, and that cooking hobby of yours won't make you as happy anymore. It's like you need your imagination rather than your already blissful reality. That is just so sad and pathetic.

But there's more. Tonnes and significantly more. Porn disables you from loving for you will not know how to love. Most of the porn contains act of violence which makes those who watch identify violence with pleasure. Porn shows the woman smiling after being subjected to physical and verbal torture making viewers feel that it is okay for them to do the same in real life. And this is precisely why the rape cases that I mentioned earlier (including others) happened.

And you know what? Most of the women that are involve in pornography are drugged, raped, trafficked, and/or abused. In other words, they are forced to smile, forced to enjoy, and forced to participate. Knowing this, would you still demand pornography? If yes, then allow me to say this statement: you are to blame too.

To make matters worse, porn is easily accessible now, even for kids. It is terrifying how warped their ideas on woman and love are going to be. It is disturbing into what kind of men, sons, fathers, brothers, uncles, grandfathers, friends, and boyfriends that they might turn into.  

I'll end this post with this video. And the essence of it is: men are qawwam (caretakers) of women.

    

My Free Upcoming Novelette: The Main Characters in Letters to God (Part 2)

Assalamualaikum and greetings dear Bits and Pieces readers,

I have introduced Sarah, Wafi, Rahman, Rahmah and Rahim. So today, I am going to introduce you to the non-human character and the Indian family.

NEKO

Personality:
Neko is an intelligent male cat. He has the highest EQ and IQ among fellow domestic cats. Ever since Rahmah's passing, Neko has been especially close to Rahim. It is as though he can sense that Rahim needs love and guidance that Rahman rarely provides. Being a cat, he is also playful and annoys Rahim from time to time.
On a side note, Neko is my favourite character in this novelette. He makes the story move and provides an opportunity for readers to relax after tense scenes.

Origin:
Neko means cat in Japanese. I got this character idea from Rurouni Kenshin movie trilogy. There's a cat scene in each of those movies, and I'd say, "The cat is so cute!". After that, serious scenes came in. Aoshi tried to kill Okina before getting to Kenshin, and Kaoru was almost killed by an impostor of Hitokiri Battousai. Then I realise that two of the cat's function is to give more impact on unexpected scenes and to provide flow to the story.
Incidentally, I got stuck between scenes and I don't know what I should put in between. Plus my story was quite dry. All thanks to God, I was inspired to put Neko in and Letters to God started to flow smoothly.

MANIDHAR

Personality:
Manidhar is a serious and charming man. He has a wife, Devi, and a daughter, Aasha. Manidhar is Sarah's friend and one of her employees too. Not many can guess that he harbors evil motives.

Origin:
In the Indian language, Manidhar means mythical snake with jewel in its hood. And when a man is called a snake, that usually means he's a backstabber and sneaky. Thus the name suits this character perfectly.

DEVI

Personality:
Devi is beautiful and naive. So in some ways, Devi matches Sarah's personality. She also pretends to be strong when she's really not.

Origin:
Devi means goddess in the Sanskrit language. This meaning matches with her beauty which had attracted Manidhar to marry her in the first place.

AASHA

Personality:
Aasha is a smart and strong will girl. She's also not your average teenager. She finds talking about boys boring and that is not because she's a lesbian. It's simply that she's maturer than people her age.
Albeit these qualities, Aasha can be quite disrespectful to her mother.

Origin:
Aasha means hope, aspiration, righteousness, and also life. Without realising this herself, Aasha gives hope to the people around her. This is also the main reason I need Aasha in Letters to God. 


Now that you've met all of my main characters, do you like any of them? Do tell me in the comment section!

My Free Upcoming Novelette: The Main Characters in Letters to God (Part 1)

Assalamualaikum and greetings dear Bits and Pieces readers,

In today's post, I would like to introduce you the main characters in my upcoming free novelette, Letters to God.

I've given a lot of thought on how many characters that my novelette should have; more so their personalities. To make them more profound, I try my best to pick out names that match their personalities. Although most of my potential readers probably wouldn't care what the names meant, I feel a sense of satisfaction in picking them.

As can be seen in the picture below, the main characters come from two groups of families, one is a Malay family and the other is an Indian family. And yes, there's a non-human there too! So Wafi, Sarah, Rahman, Rahmah, Rahim, Neko, Manidhar, Devi, and Aasha, meet Bits and Pieces readers. Bits and Pieces readers, meet Wafi, Sarah, Rahman, Rahmah, Rahim, Neko, Manidhar, Devi, and Aasha. I hope you, Bits and Pieces readers, will find them fascinating! Just like they find you :)        

SARAH

Personality:
Sarah is the lead character. She is a beautiful, fashionable, and successful Muslim woman. She owns a successful bakery cafe that has chains throughout Peninsular Malaysia. These pointers of hers also make her stubborn, refusing to heed to his husband's advice at times. This closed mind of hers causes her to be naive.

Origin:
This novelette is about a woman who has been inflicted with many tragedies in her life. Just like my childhood neighbour Sarah. She's a Filipino who married a Pakistani and converted to Islam. I remember she'd asked me and another neighbour to teach her how to pray. During Ramadhan, the fasting month for Muslims, she'd give my family pancakes for break fast. She have two daughters. She was happy leaving in our neighbourhood. But a tragic incident occurred. Her husband was beaten to death by a group of unknown men on his way back from work. Then my father said she went and lived with her in-laws in Pakistan. After awhile, she came back to our residential area for a short visit. I can't entirely remember what happen back then. What I can remember is she was clad in white and she was hugging me and crying. It is as though her life has been miserable in Pakistan.

WAFI

Personality:
Wafi is Sarah's husband. He is a loving father towards his son, Rahman. Although Sarah doesn't respect his opinion and is stubborn most of the time, he remains loving, patient, and loyal to her. However, he is that type of person who forgives and never forgets. He's the type who bottles up all his emotions inside.

Origin:
Wafi is in Arabic and its meaning is loyal; a characteristic that Sarah's husband possess. I wanted to put Sabur, meaning patience but I never heard a Malay man named after that.
On a side note, it is normal in Malaysia and the rest of the Muslim countries to have Arabic names. This is because Islam was revealed in the Arabic language.

RAHMAN

Personality:
Rahman is the son of Sarah and Wafi. He's loved unconditionally by his parents. He's energetic, playful, and talkative. But due to the death of his father later in the story, he becomes cold and distant towards Sarah ever since. Rahman blames his mother for the death of his father. As a result of this tragedy, he's incapable of showing love even when he becomes an adult.

Origin:
The name Rahman is an Arabic term meaning mercy and compassion.

RAHMAH

Personality:
The adult Rahman is married to Rahmah. To Rahman, she is the most loving and caring human being. She understands Rahman the most.

Origin:
The term Rahmah has a similar meaning to Rahman.

RAHIM   

Personality:
The only son of Rahman and Rahmah is a rebellious teenager. He appears tough on the outside but inside, he inherits Rahmah's sensitivity.

Origin:
The term Rahim also has a similar meaning to Rahman.

The reason I pick the name Rahman, Rahmah, and Rahim is because the meaning of these names closely relate to love. Since Rahman is distant from his mother, Sarah, and his father had long ago died, he is in desperate need of love. So there comes Rahmah whose name incidentally meant compassion.
In an effort to show his love, Rahman also name their son Rahim. On top of that, Rahman dreams of a family that is full of love. The kind that he momentarily had when his father was alive.

I think we should continue the rest of the introductions in my next post. Or the one after next. Until then...do take care!

Death: How to Live Like We're Dying

Assalamualaikum and greetings dear Bits and Pieces readers,

My mother lost her cousin last week.

My friend lost her fiancee the day after. And she was supposed to get married in 3 days.

Both tragic events I came to know about the moment I woke up in the morning. That's two days straight God reminded me that we are all going to die.

One Hadith (tradition of the Prophet Muhammad pbuh) kept nagging at the back of my head since then. But I'm not sure which one. After some research, I finally found it:

Abu Hurairah narrated that the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w) said:
"Increase in remembrance of the severer of pleasures." Meaning death. (At-Tirmidhi, no.2307)

How exactly can we remind ourselves of death when it's a lethargic thought? But is it lethargic in the first place? Before we decide, let's listen to this song first:



My decision is no! And my answer to the previous question is we should live like we're dying!

1. Only buy what we need
Each time we're purchasing an item, ask ourself if we really need it. Whether it be our fifth handbag or the latest iPhone model, say to ourself, "It's not like I can bring this to my grave" or "Life's short. Better spend my money on something more meaningful".

2. What do we cherish in life?
Make a list on who or what is important to us. Put pictures of them on our working table. It might be our parents, wife/husband, children, pet, vintage camera, etc. Then we come to realise that one of the reasons we cherish them is because they won't be with us forever. That WE won't be with them forever.

3. Draw our life's roadmap
Think deeply of what we want to accomplish in life, our passion, and what we can contribute to society. Then translate it on a piece of paper. For instance, graduating at 23, travel around the world at 25, get married at 30, published several books by 40, etc. Soon enough we'll see that the road ends at death.

4. Live simply
In my personal experience, to gain focus in life is to declutter my thoughts and surroundings. Throw way negative thoughts, donate what we don't need, and break up with extravagance. This will leave us with additional space to ponder on a worthy life. A life that is lived like we're dying! 


p/s: Very sorry for not posting anything last week :-(

Why I Stop Writing for Almost a Year

Assalamualaikum and greetings dear Bits and Pieces readers,

I had promised that I will share with you the reasons I stop writing for awhile. And the two reasons are psychological and spiritual.


The Psychological Reason

I was over excited when I got the opportunity to publish my book. Instead of doing proper research, I straight away agreed to publish through a self publishing company. It was EXPENSIVE! But I told myself it was okay, it's my dream to write a book, to get it published, to let it be available around the world so that everyone can read it.

I was happy for about a few weeks seeing that my book is now officially published. As a marketing strategy, I gave away free books, shared blog posts about it, and I signed up for a marketing package which was also EXPENSIVE! But again I told myself, sacrifices need to be make in order to be successful.

But of course, my book sales never shot up. It wasn't a surprise actually because my book is EXPENSIVE! I wanted to change the price of the book but it was EXPENSIVE to do so! I said to myself that it is okay, it is the company's policy after all. Maybe I should learn more about the book industry. So I joined writing communities on Google+ and the fear that I kept on pushing down emerged.

Self publishing companies are rip offs.

This knowledge realisation had put me into a state of inferiority. I slowly lose confidence and quit writing.



The Spiritual Reason

As time passes, as you know more people, and as you gain more experiences in life, you come to know yourself more. You'll see that others are better in writing about Islam, that others are more creative in writing, and others have this charming personality that seem to attract people. You start to feel that your being consist of more bad than good and you are unqualified to write in both Islamic and creatively. Slowly, you can't seem to find anymore words to write. Your ideas seem stupid. And you feel that you are just vain. You ended up becoming silent, like a stone.


The Lift         

Somehow, I was able to recall a talk from Nouman Ali Khan. He said that to not use your ability is an act of ingratitude to ALLAH. Because ALLAH has created us in the best of make:

"Certainly We created man in the best make." (The Quran, 95:4)

Not to mention that my best friend who happens to be my husband, has always lend me his ears, help me destroy my fear and showed me a new perspective in life.

So I begin my first step by changing my intention and the way I think. I now start to write because of ALLAH, because I have a burning passion for it, because I have a wild imagination, and because I do have an ability in writing.

I have started asking advice from the Self Publishing Google+ community and read blogs from experience authors posted in other writing related communities. Alhamdulillah now, I already have a plan of action. This I will tell you in the next post, insyALLAH.