Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Why I Stop Writing for Almost a Year

Assalamualaikum and greetings dear Bits and Pieces readers,

I had promised that I will share with you the reasons I stop writing for awhile. And the two reasons are psychological and spiritual.

The Psychological Reason

I was over excited when I got the opportunity to publish my book. Instead of doing proper research, I straight away agreed to publish through a self publishing company. It was EXPENSIVE! But I told myself it was okay, it's my dream to write a book, to get it published, to let it be available around the world so that everyone can read it.

I was happy for about a few weeks seeing that my book is now officially published. As a marketing strategy, I gave away free books, shared blog posts about it, and I signed up for a marketing package which was also EXPENSIVE! But again I told myself, sacrifices need to be make in order to be successful.

But of course, my book sales never shot up. It wasn't a surprise actually because my book is EXPENSIVE! I wanted to change the price of the book but it was EXPENSIVE to do so! I said to myself that it is okay, it is the company's policy after all. Maybe I should learn more about the book industry. So I joined writing communities on Google+ and the fear that I kept on pushing down emerged.

Self publishing companies are rip offs.

This knowledge realisation had put me into a state of inferiority. I slowly lose confidence and quit writing.

The Spiritual Reason

As time passes, as you know more people, and as you gain more experiences in life, you come to know yourself more. You'll see that others are better in writing about Islam, that others are more creative in writing, and others have this charming personality that seem to attract people. You start to feel that your being consist of more bad than good and you are unqualified to write in both Islamic and creatively. Slowly, you can't seem to find anymore words to write. Your ideas seem stupid. And you feel that you are just vain. You ended up becoming silent, like a stone.

The Lift         

Somehow, I was able to recall a talk from Nouman Ali Khan. He said that to not use your ability is an act of ingratitude to ALLAH. Because ALLAH has created us in the best of make:

"Certainly We created man in the best make." (The Quran, 95:4)

Not to mention that my best friend who happens to be my husband, has always lend me his ears, help me destroy my fear and showed me a new perspective in life.

So I begin my first step by changing my intention and the way I think. I now start to write because of ALLAH, because I have a burning passion for it, because I have a wild imagination, and because I do have an ability in writing.

I have started asking advice from the Self Publishing Google+ community and read blogs from experience authors posted in other writing related communities. Alhamdulillah now, I already have a plan of action. This I will tell you in the next post, insyALLAH.